This is for all the boys I loved before.
Lately I’ve just been stuck in a rut. Maybe I shouldn’t have had quit my summer job because ever since I’ve quit all I can think about is how lonely I am and that all the people surrounding me are in relationships. I say “I don’t really care” or “No way it’ll get to me because I’m a strong, independent woman!” but to be honest I want that – a relationship. Cutting all these BS I keep on saying that imma be a Rich Single Tita, for real I want what everybody wants, and that is love.
However, I might not find it now since I have too much hatred in me for all the guys who stood up on me on love – the paasas, the promise-breakers, the judgemental and the narrow-minded types, I’m bitter because they never gave me a chance. Now this is my chance to tell them… your loss, for leaving someone like me in the air. Because when I finally get to have my happy ending and definitely it’s not going to be either of them, it will suck to be them.
I’m sorry if this is kind of a bitter post but I can’t help it – I’m bitter… but better. Better in a sense that I have peace in my life right now. This is the most comfortable and the best feeling I have ever been and I have to enjoy it while it last. That is why I’m feeling hella great at this instant to make this post about what these guys had to lose when they turned their cheeks away from me. So here it goes:
- I’m a smart girl
Yes, I’m smart. I may not be the smartest girl in the world but I’m wise beyond my years. Experience has taught me very valuable lessons in life and I implement them in my everyday living and problems that I face. I overthink because I only want the very best for myself and the ones I love. I’m assertive not passive nor aggressive. I read books because I knowledge is never ending and it’s a great investment, and I am practical in a sense because I was raised to be one.
- I’m an introvert
They say introverts make the best lovers. This is because we may look mysterious in the outside but when you get to know us, we’re lovable freaks. We’re also artistic and creative so when we’re in a relationship we do things that are out of the ordinary for someone we love, only behind closed doors that is. That’s why one to one instances with introverts leaves a special impact because when we talk, we talk with you and only you for hours. We hate small talk but we love intelligent conversations and intimate discussions. That’s something magical.
- I’m quirky and weird
My personality is often times not understandable. People know me as this prim and proper individual but when they really get to know be I’m sometimes mistaken as crazy (But honestly I am in a sense but I’ll get to that later). I’m quirky and a bit silly – but I find it as a strength. In this world, usually people are pretty serious. “Oh, you gotta become an adult now you have to take this seriously” Yeah it’s good and all but sometimes you also need to let loose and just be you. I’m also weird because I like unusual stuffs. I’m a dork/ geek/ nerd rolled into one. But honestly I find that unique. So I’m kinda special.
- I’m strong as a diamond
There’s a reason why they say “diamonds are a girl’s best friend” because women who are tough as a diamond is a keeper. I always have a best friend at every stage in my life and usually my best friends tell me I’m a strong person. But I admit, I’m not always this strong. There was a time in my life where I was at my weakest, it was twice actually, and I’m not gonna lie it hit me rock bottom. But it was those moments where I learned a lot and it sharpened me as to what I am today. I’m thankful I have experienced those rock bottom moments already in my early years compared to if I will experience them later in life.
- I’m God fearing
I’m a Godly woman. I aspire to be like my mom, my grandma, my aunties and all the Proverbs woman I know, I want to be like them. I believe that being a God fearing woman, not only will attract a good man, but even if she walks alone, all good things shall happen to her. I may not be a perfect Christian woman, but I am striving, I am learning and I am motivated to be the kind of person a daughter or a son would want to look up to.
I don’t really get why these guys I’ve loved before chose a different person to love or passed their chance on someone life me (Chos, I’m being way over my head right now but sorry not sorry haha). But to tell you, you missed your chance in loving a unique person like me. I maybe crazy (literally) and chubby (for those narrow-minded guys who think looks are everything, kayo na ang perfect! Haha) but I’m a good person. And I think that’s what matters… finding a good girl in this world.
To all the boys I’ve loved before – to the one who left me in the air when the going was tough, to the paasa with gifts and actions that wasn’t genuine, to the promise-breaker who broke my heart, to the shallow-minded guy who think I’m fat and unlovable – YOUR LOSS, BABE. I’m happy with my life right now and if God’s will I ever find a guy worthy of me and me worthy of him, I want to thank you all because you all have become my lessons in life so when I meet the one, everything will not be a practice anymore, it will be the real deal… and it will be perfect.
P.S. This is me laughing at all your sorry asses #SorryNotSorry